Short Shrifts / tweets 6

or, The Autocrat of the Algonquin and Fox News round tables

 

Update: Friday, March 24, 2017

• I remember when out church talked about doctrines.  That's gone out of style; now it's our church values.  Or culture.

• It's the easiest thing in the world to suspend disbelief at the movies, which are the most unreal things in the world.  But we just can't with God, the essence of and consummate reality of the cosmos!

• The end and beginning are fixed at the movies and we fine with that.  But not with God's doing the same.

• There are ordained women anchors and panelists all over cable news, why not ordained in church?

• To be a mad-dog or a lap-dog, that is the question (if you're a dog or a general).  (Inspired by Trump's nomination of General Mattis aka mad-dog Mattis.)

• Alas, he's  being sued for virtual sexual harassment, or is it real sexism?  A photographer, didn't retouch her enough.

• Why is it that, if women are so downtrodden, enslaved, abused, underpaid, all the celeb TransGens make going female their preference?

• Going to the expense and trouble and even hassle of getting yourself, if a male, transgendered into a female just so you can, er, prefer going to the ladies restroom, is so, well, discriminatory and, therefore some sort of violation of some right or other.  I trust the ACLU is already in court pleading that that bother be done away with.  A male should without ado or bother simply declare his preference for the lady's room and that's that.

• It's so sad, so very sad that Caitlyn Brucia Jenner can never experience the miracle of an abortion.

• "Monday, November 20, 2017: Bruce Jenner to be charged after Caitlyn Jenner complains of year of groping and unwanted touching, leaving her scarred for life."  That's a wish-I'd-said-that from Imgflip.com!

 

• The 2016 presidential campaign has seen several candidates promise to bring jobs back to America.  Does that include tech support, essentially all of which are now handled in India or the Philippines?

• Bumper sticker: Sorry Donald, but you're no Ronald.

• Which would you prefer -- to have your mind blown or boggled?

• At what point does toleration become condescension?

• More cogent question, at what point does toleration, or, say, racism become fake news?  Easy obvious answer: always, instantly, until otherwise notified.

• "All's well that ends well" isn't from the Bible (it's the title of a play by  Shakespeare), but might as well be, along with "All things work together for good," Romans 8:28.

• I hope everything turns out good -- if not good, for the best!

• Bumper sticker: Ronald The McDonald has a big red nose and a clown face!

• August 2015.  It's settled; if you like your Obamacare you can keep your Obamacare.  Unless we get Donaldcare.

• August 2015.  Your Short Shrifts host, practiced and sensitive guide that he is, has taken note of certain unspoken signals from our small group of viewers, and has commanded a rest break, taking note of this quote by a lawyer, as posted on the web today: Regardless of the icon on the door, “All students have a right, under Title 9, to access the bathroom of their choice.” Hurry back.

• When the chill of terror goes down your spine and meets the thrill of delight coming up your leg... what does it matter?

• When the chill of terror goes down your spine and meets the thrill of delight coming up your leg, that's all that's necessary for Global Warming.

• Postmodernism denial or no, there are eternal verities, to wit: death, taxes, tattoos and being bugged about solar panels.

• Nowadays when routinely you get 3-4 phone calls a day offering to determine your eligibility for solar panels, plus 3-4 others somehow waivered from the NoCall list, it's refreshing when it's just a wrong number.

• As of April 2015, as an old doc myself, I'm fine with these two choices for president: a testy and hot-mouthed ophthalmologist, or a cool headed and sparingly verbal neurosurgeon.  Being rather of the former sort myself, I favor the latter.

• Anent the great California Drought of 2015 of Biblical proportions.  When faced with genuinely Biblical drought, Joseph stored up grain for the Egyptians, and they survived and sold the surplus.  What  if Jerry [Brown] had been in charge instead of Joseph, and weeds and the Nile delta smelt were given priority over pyramid builders and leak growers?  Another ancient civilization vanished, and the Bible might never have been written, but the smelt were saved.

• Students of global history are dumbfounded at how two previously unknown domains, declared junior varsity at worst, have exploded and in just a year or two taken over whole continents and terrorized the civilized world -- ISIS and LGBT.

• The woods abound with Activists and Advocates nowadays -- there's even a devil's advocate for God.  He lost the case.

• Anything carried to its logical conclusion .... you wouldn't want to go there, buddy!

• Verily, verily, Facebook is a parable of creation, for our times.  For some it is like unto theistic Creation, with the creator, after creation, departing never to be heard from again.  For others, the creator remains ever more intricately involved with his Creation, bestowing ever more generously upon the righteous and unrighteous alike selfies, foodies, UFO uTubes, blossoms and iconic grandchildren.

• As the number of ways of communication, from smart thumbs to smart thought, increase and the numbers of thumbers, thinkers and talkers burgeon, the stuff thumbed and chatted about and the vocabulary shrink disproportionately, disappearing into hashmarks.  Now the number of nouns for things ranging from gonads to aircraft carriers has dropped to two, just two -- #stuff and #assets.  The NSA 's assets fondle your stuff.   #Outrage!

• So nowadays the ordinary description of things is limited to  "stuff" and "assets."  But the vocabulary of the poet, formerly the practitioner of a vast vocabulary, and protester, already single-minded, is even more paltry, with only one, one measly, one pathetic word, serving as adjective and noun and verb, subject and object and particle: #F....k.

• Eve said the serpent made me do it.  Freud said sex made me do it.  A teenager says his father made me do it.  Sharpton says poverty made me do it.  A liberal says society made me do it.  A libertarian says this is a free country and I do what I want.  A biologist says chromosomes made me do it.  Bruce Jenner says, … so much for chromosomes. But maybe Flip Wilson was right after all: the devil made me do it.

• The man without a country is pathetic; the transgender without a restroom is bathetic.

• This just in: Bruce Caitlyn transjennered Jenner says he was born with skin-deep male trimmings but inside he had always been female, even when winning the Olympics as no woman could.  Outside he was a man; inside, a woman.  I'm an MD and I'd have to say that's backwards.  Maybe it's alternative medicine.

• Twice daily, in the AM and the PM, I can expect to be hit in the solar plexus by phone calls about solar panels.  And every last one starts with "Hello Wesley, how are you."

• Studies have shown that scalp bacteria and oral spirochetes control the hypothalamus, bypassing the pineal.  Just kidding.  April 1, you know.  Nowadays the "informed public" wouldn't know kidding unless told.

• How can he possibly believe that!  Because his mind is set so that he can't believe anything but that.

• March 2014.  Kerry must be batty to so consistently cave.

• Sustainable the planet may turn out not to be, but a tattoo is.

• Diamonds are forever, so's a tattoo.

• Church Bulletin: "Please remember pastor Greggy while he’s away the next two weekends on speaking engagements."  Greggy?

• Drudge-of-the-Day Headline: "Psychologist: 'Quake Nerves' Affect Mental Health..."  Pathologist (me): everything, every last thing, everything especially the NSA and Affordable care, nothing doesn't affect Mental Health.  Get a life!  OK, get a virtual life.

• So now we have "quake nerves."  Sigh, I was already in therapy for "NSA nerves," "War on Women Nerves," "Spin nerves," "smart Reform Act nerves," "victim nerves."

• Let's hear it for the Affordable Care Act and enforced upgraded insurance covering heretofore uncovered items, notably birth control, gender and lifestyle change and empowered creativity.  Does it cover botox and photoshopping of selfies yet?  Write your congressman.

• Steve Jobs dreamed up stuff the public didn't even know it wanted, but did.  I sure didn't know I wanted free birth control pills and abortions.

• It turns out that the Affordable Care Act contains, among 20,000 others, a provision whereby a citizen can declare the Affordable Care Act itself a hardship, thus to evade the fine or tax or whatever the Supreme Court declared it is.  Is that sustainable?

• Waivers on everything but free BC pills, no waivers there.  Can't miss a pill or you'll get pregnant, you know.

• Next week the White House will waiver this week's waiver.  Is that sustainable?

• Waivering last week's waiver this week -- postmodernism in action, your tax dollars at work.

• The IRS has gone postmodern, but can't do it right.  Postmodernism wants to replace the old with the new.  The IRS adds the new to the old.

• I'm so old I remember when hippies cried, "Stop the world!  I want off."  Out of date.  Now, just get a waiver.

• I am increasingly hearing that "Man made religion."  A lot of it is man-made, all right.

• So man, not God, made religion?  And God saw that it wasn't good.

• Man, not God, made religion.  Is this part of the "change we can believe in"?

• Man, not God, made religion.  "Sorry, God," it says on our teleprompter, "You didn't make that either."

• God made redemption from sin, thus to avoid hell.  Only man can make a waiver.

• To straighten the record, actually the Hell Waiver has been invented, it's old stuff.  It was called the Indulgence.  Martin Luther didn't like the idea, and started the Protestant Reformation.

• Our nation is blessed with a strong president.  He never wavers on waivers.  At the end of the day, his legacy will be that he never waffled on waivers.

• Being in drag is only clothes deep.  Being transgendered is only skin deep.

• Anatomically, a transgenderer can't be a deep thinker.

• A transgenderer ignores core values.

• Now they're talking about admitting transgenderers into the military.  Wouldn't that be a dangerous thing to do, arming declared turncoats?

• How can anybody be expected to be other than what their chromosomes dictated?  We are prisoners to our chromosomes!  Held fast in iron chromsome chains!  That's been the cry and alibi of moderns.  But suddenly we are liberated!  Proclaim liberty in all the land, especially the talk shows, from the X and Y chromies, and the rest don't count.

• But this liberation, alas, is simply virtual.  But what isn't nowadays?  Ours is the era humanity has been striving towards since we shivered in the cave of ignorance.  Ours is the age of final reality, maximum information, consummate understanding -- and it all turns out to be virtual.  The transgender is the perfect poster boy, or whatever.

• It’s ironic that the enlightenment which talked so big about stripping away all religious garbage from consideration, turned around and encumbered it with the political.  If before the enlightenment nothing could be talked about except as religion, afterwards nothing can be breathed in or out except as political.  One is reminded of the parable of the house swept clean of a devil and seven worse than the first took over.

• All this talk about how illegal aliens aren't illegal.  They're talking about aliens from south of our border, clambering over our fences or tunneling beneath them.  What about aliens from outer space arriving in UFOs?  Amnesty? Never!  Free education, healthcare? Never!   They don't pick our grapes or mow our lawns, or vote.

• The question is whether to grant amnesty and free education to illegal aliens from south of the border. No, the real question is whether illegal aliens from outer space will grant us amnesty and higher (outer) education.

• Now then, if we grant amnesty and, of course, suffrage to undocumented aliens from outer space (sillier things are being mandated, by the hour), and voters are still required to show IDs (smarter things are being ignored by the DOJ, by the hour), wouldn't you like to see their ID cards?

 

• I love green, love to see green.  But eating green except peas, drinking anything green, applying green to my face, thinking green, voting green, I hate.

• Hamas will surely pay full price, Israel will, the GOP will, capitalism will, capitalists will...   Inflammatory.  Worse, inflationary.

• God is in His heaven, but from the look of things – all is not well – He’s about due to make His promised return.

• Summer 2014.  Can the playing field be level if littered with lopped-off heads?  Please note the NO LITTERING signs, goes for pull-top beer cans and lopped-off heads.

• Summer 2014.  Our government, expert in nuance and quibble, is now mincing the definition of "war."  We have, we are told, embarked on the war of the century, all out war, war to the death by smart bomb or body bomb, improvised explosive device or economy-breaking nuclear device, fought without boots on the ground, only lopped-off heads, only it isn't a war.  Goodness!  Now I don't know what to think of the War on Women!

• I don't know which is the more unsettling -- boots on the ground or Barbie Dolls reporting on it.

• If there's a war between the sexes, where are transexuals' boots?  On the rainbow?

• Boots on the ground, feet on the ground -- is that an oxymoron?

• But remember this: boots not on the ground don't get licked.

• Are your boots on the ground?  Take them off -- this is holy ground.

• Of course God has boots on the ground because the devil has hooves on our ground.

• So how do you lead from behind?  By not putting boots on the ground but on somebody's back.

• The Civil War, fought to save the union, which Lincoln fought by leading from the front, wound up enhancing and strengthening and empowering and consolidating the power and authority of the federal government as never before. This ISIS or ISIL war -- oops! whatever it is, war by whatever name -- which Obama is leading from behind and contracting out to the global community, may well end up by empowering the global community, and a global community manager, as never possible before, which is exactly what our philosophers and planners have wanted and striven for all along, since Wilson and WWI, the War to End all Wars.  Meanwhile, what's the news from the front -- ah, that front, wherewith to lead by the nose, and the behind is pretty good too -- on the War on Women?

• Headline 'O Day: "Ruth Bader Ginsburg: America is ready for gay marriage." Oh, well then, sure, OK, that's makes it OK. The fullness of time. Meanwhile, and by the same token, America is less and less, less and less, state by state, less ready for scripture, notably Romans 1.

• If you like your Romans 1 you can keep it. ... chuckle chuckle.

• Drudge 'O Day: "Dem congressman says People 'Come to Government To Feed Their Souls'..."   Let me count the ways: food stamps, Michelle's socially just school lunches, free abortions and free BC pills.  No wonder our souls are obese.

• To be right brain, left brain, a no-brainer -- that is the question.

• To be or not to be, what does it matter?  That -- That's the question now, after thoroughly postmodern Hillary.  (Do you remember "thoroughly modern Millie"?)

• If you like your ... you can... Oh what does it matter!

• This week's most popular movie with most gross: Fifty Shades of Whey And Whine.

 

• A friend of mine, a professor, has a way of asking intensely thought stimulating questions at table.  He certainly stimulates me to intense thought -- how to get the subject changed.

• If one spins into the deepest degeneration or disbelief, it's a cosmic tragedy.  If it's called an "experience," a "journey," "liberation,"  it's fine, a blog gone viral (LIKE?).

• Wesley Kime thinks "Iron Chefs" is just a frat house food fight, with awards.  And smoke.

• On "Iron Chefs" it's OK for smoke to enshroud the chefs -- but not the food.

• Have you noticed that most birthday cards for wives say, “I know I don’t say it very often but…”?  I finally found one that said, "I don't have words to say...."

• We just saw a roadside sign advertising MATTRESS LIQUIDATION. Waterbed sale, I assume.

• I always check my old hometown online newspaper. Today this headline: "Stabbed man not cooperating with police."

• There seems to be a sustained campaign to drop the allegiance to the flag and impose allegiance to Global Warming.

• Try to keep them straight, say aloud: Mamie Doud, Maureen Dowd, Mamie Doud...Eisenhower.

• Latest web headline: "President: 'Everybody a Winner!'" Wait! I thought everybody is a victim.

• Asians are such outgoing, cordial, helpful, hospitable people.  I've never met a single one that wasn't eager to show me how to use chop sticks.

• As I understand it a hooker charges for admission plus a fee for stripping and handling.

• I'm trying to figure it: when Bush said "Mission Accomplished," it was an outrage.  When Obama says, "discussion over," it's the answer.

• Determining a component of demography has become increasingly confusing.  I'm so old I remember when the census determined simply black/white/asian, male/female.  Now, determining whether b/w/a is not allowed, but includes male/female/transgender.

• I submit that the census data should include only these classifications: diversity variant; male/female/transgenderant; straw man (straw person).

• By the way, if the census bureau determines it, it's data.  If the NSA, it's metadata.

• If gay marriage between men is now legal, why not marriage between a man and straw man?  In fact it's here, increasing, getting out of hand, in inverse proportion to the rate of decrease of old-time marriage.  Not kidding.

• Through his written resource, the Bible, God, who has always been the epitome and source of love, proscribed homosexuality.  But our new enlightenment has determined that God is not only retarded but cruel in general, and hateful in particular.  His very character has changed, totally, so why not the very nature, even gender, of his creatures?  It follows.

• Whatever thou doest, do it without ado, but with aplomb aplenty.

• I'm a right-brainer -- that's a no-brainer.

• Drudge headline of the day: "Porn stars claim mandatory condom law violates freedom of speech..."   I'm speechless.

• "That isn't fair!" That's today's hashtag, always screeched or sobbed, somehow bringing on more and worse unfairness because it automatically engenders mindless emotional extremes, and, worse, litigation, which guarantees more, worse, mandated unfairness.  "It isn't morally right!" That's what should be said.  Alas, it wouldn't work, nobody believes there is such a thing as morality nowadays, and anyway morality is no good in court.  Talk about unfairness!

• Yesterday's tagline is today's hashtag is tomorrow's hazmat.

• It's worth mentioning but is anything worth mentioning?

• Nowadays youth dream of getting rich instantly by starting up their own Startups and then selling off.  Is that what is meant by the motto, "get a life!"?

• To the old salts lolling on the barnacled old FoxNews wharves, President Obama is in it over his head, a fish out of water, a sea urchin, a minnow among sharks in a small pond.  Something fishy about all that, besides the ship-wrecked metaphors.  Alas, the Fox think-tank has sprung a leak.  Silly sea shanties are what O’Reilly is singing, through his snorkel.  Actually Obama is a whale of a whale of a Moby Dick and knows precisely what he wants to do and how to do it -- swallow Captain Ahab plus Jonah plus every smelt in the sea, whole, and has.  A tsunami is what that whale of a whale of a hammerhead has spouted, not just squirts.  But to jellyfish and preciously hued goldfish it seems just eddies and tangles of kelp to carp about.  In bubbly 2009, at the launching, a certain old crab, swimming against the current of flounders wishing the new president bon voyage, wished Obama would sink, and got harpooned for it, remember?  Since then the bread cast upon the waters has returned with the high tide and the grunion.  A wise old sea tortoise recently declared Obama the most consequential president since George Washington, whose America is now as dead as a mackerel.

• Studies have shown that at the end of the day the bottom line plus our core values are on the table, arena, agenda, whatever, but our boots are not on the ground and have not risen to the level of gravitas.  What can we learn from this?

• That the GOP is involved unilaterally in the War on Women, as Libs have declared, is discrimination, unfair, bigotry in action both by the GOP who won't allow libs into it and the libs who allow only the GOP to fight it.  It's a global war, has always been, involves Libs as well as GOPs, but with very different tactics, holds (none barred), strategies, goals, definitions of victory, deployment of taxes, and beheadings.  If I were a lib I'd stamp my foot on the ground, maybe even my boots.  But of course Sandra Fluke's boots are on the ground, combat boots with tax supported soles.

• Meanwhile, back to the War on Women.  It's HORRIBLE!  HORRIBLE! Left me a shattered man.  I'm a PTSD sufferer.  I'm applying for permanent disability.

• When will the media begin reporting on the scandal -- the VA hospitals, how they ignore us veterans of the War on Women and just let us suffer?

• A friend forwarded this quote: “When I give food to the poor they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food they call me a communist.” Dom Hélder Câmara.  Hmmm... The way I heard it was, “When I give food to the poor they call me a socialist. When I ask why the poor are poor, they call me a capitalist.”

• When I even mention the Ten Commandments he says I’m a legalist, despicable.  Then he points to the 10,000 Pharisaical regulations I never heard of but breach, and calls me a hypocrite, despicable.  End of discussion, shake hands.  We agree to part, without reciting the Mizpah.

• A certain ex-Adventist pastor, suddenly an atheist activist but still by nature pastoral, now ministers to the emergent God-free but spirituality replete global fellowship.  With unabated pastoral sensitivity, and recognizing that the ritual of, quote-unquote, prayer, has a certain dogged cultural attraction for fragile newly de-converted congregations, he will continue to indulge the practice, but rename it, to liberate it from disingenuous connotations.  Good!  I just wish libs had had the same level of regard for, quote-unquote, compassion, liberation, tolerance.

• I just came  across this in somebody's facebook: "To believe that every word is true demeans the Bible. It insults it."  OMG!  By the same logic, for me to believe every word Obama says demeans, insults ME.  Do you really want to go there, buddy?

• Web headline of the day: "DOD: " Obama Offered Drugs in Denver..." Jay Carney would need to rephrase that.

• In your face is only skin deep.

• To go for the throat is not to go for the heart.

• Up close and personal and in your face.

• It's hard to remember that tattoos are only skin deep.

• Waving a waiver from its enslavement to liberating itself from anything older than a week, Postmodernism hoists a glass of 50-year-old burgundy wine – cheers!  Only time can make it so perfect!  End of debate.

• The best way to define something, certainly to advertise it, is by what it isn't.  Styrofoam is gluten free!

• I've just read this morning's obits in the New York Times, famous for it's nuanced news, declaring Robin Williams's comedy...nuanced.  If the man from Ork was nuanced, the man from helicopter teleprompter is to the right of Ted Cruz.   And I know HTML.  And you can keep your doctor.

• I believe God is the director of human events, not the choreographer.

• If marrying your sister is incest, what is marrying your own gender?

• The best way to fight with a straw man is to nitpick at him.

• After going through the cafeteria line, school kids are pitching the Michelle-mandated school lunch, 2 pieces of cauliflower and cheese, into the trash can.  Now that's sad, sad the kids aren't appreciative of Michelle's trying to bring culture into their lives to prepare them for book signings and Artist Receptions, where 2 pieces of cauliflower and cheese (and chardonnay) are de rigueur.  Food stamps accepted.

Ooops!  Bureaucracy screwed up, again.  American cheese!  Not Michelle's ideological favorite.  Should have been Brie.

• NYT obit of the day: "As politicians go, Mr. Regan, ... was as unflashy as they come."  They come, they go, RIP.

• Drudge headline of the day (10/21/2014):  "Lewinsky: Drudge Ruined My Life..."  Didn't Bill have something to do with the ruination, at least of the nice blue dress?

• Better take that with a grain of salt -- and pray that thy salt has not lost its saltiness.

• Did he weigh in or butt in?

• We must have a dialog, said the spider to the fly.

 • Dec 10, 2014: DHOD (Drudge Headline of the Day): "President quotes nonexistent Bible verse... "   But the reference is to be found in I Gruber 2:28, an authorized apocrypha.  If you like your apocrypha you can keep it.

• A lot of people I know like to make uTubes proclaiming themselves searchers for truth traveling the great journey of life, which turns out to be just coming out of the closet.   Are we there yet?

• The most noteworthy thing about "coming out of the closet" is how squeaky the hinges are.

• As a lead-in for a media blurb, hard to say which is more off-putting: "Studies have shown that....", or "Your doctor doesn't want you to know that...."

• Drudge-O-Day: "Goats offered as solution to clear Colorado area exposed to plutonium..." Experts question the efficacy of this protocol, fearing that goats, like Coloradoeans, may graze areas exposed to pot, not plutonium, sending the state into high bankruptcy.

• Drudge-O-Day: "Goats offered as solution to clear Colorado area exposed to plutonium...", with those Colorado hills alive with the sound of Bach's cantata 208, "Sheep May Safely Graze."

• Headlines nowadays have taken to describing catastrophes as "Biblical" (e.g., "Biblical' series of storms..."), which seems just the newest way of saying really bad, mythically bad.  Sounds more like a movie poster hyping one of those nothing-like-the-Bible bible movies than the Bible, up for an Oscar for special effects.  The blood is the message.  To say that catastrophes are a warning, much less punishment, by God is a hate crime -- by God.  What, as they say, have we learned from this?

• Bad people do good things.  That's somehow supposed to disprove the existence of God.  Good people do bad things, they're really basically good, those people, but what they do is really really bad.  So what's THAT prove?  It proves they're really really really mod and up for awards #lol.

• Do not the postmodernist philosophers ask questions that are, to everybody else, as obvious in answer as tragic, like this very question?

• When a gay announces himself, he "comes out of the closet."  Likewise when a presidential candidate, like The Donald or Hillary, announces him/erself. Please, all of you, get back in there and close the door behind you.

• As of March 2015, Hillary may discover that she doesn't matter.

• Layers -- that's what Photoshop and archeology are all about.

• Whether God "predestines" any of us (Romans 9 is moot) has always been harangued and argued, usually contentiously.  Scholars whether downright atheists or merely theistic deconstructionists love to be outraged at the very idea, contending that the slightest predestination, or even divine foreknowledge, deprives us of free will without ado and by default, rendering us just robots, and God lies when He says otherwise.  But does a Toyota engineer predestine the MPG that I actually get on my own personal 4-Runner?  That could be argued all day, but at the end of the day would a class action suit against Toyota hold up?  It might, considering the predestined mind set of our courts.  But will it hold up in the Great Judgment?

• "But you said...!"  If you say that, she'll frown and shriek, "I did NOT, you idiot!"  But if you say, "I understood you to say," She'll grin and murmur, "so sorry you understood wrong, honey."  I was kidding!

• June 2014.  Phone rings again.  "Hello, may I speak to, er, Mr. KimEE?"  "About solar panels?"  "Er, yes, and the first year it'll cost you nothing."  "Seems to me it already costs me a helluva lot in taxes so the government can hire you to call me.  So I'll hang up now so the next solar panel can call."  What's your favorite reply to your solar-panel calls?  But keep it sunny sounding -- the NSA is recording it for, er, quality control, you know.

• Last year's storm of telemarketing was private enterprise, and the government heard us object and put a stop to it.  This year's is solar panels at government (our) expense, and no storm of objections can stop it.  Excuse me -- the phone's ringing.

• If so, so what?  If not, why not?

• Who knew?  Who didn't know!

• If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.  But you can't make an appointment with him before 8 months.

• If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.  But you can't see him before 8 months, or ever talk to him on the phone, never by email.  But you can sue him right now, why wait!

• "Talk to your doctor" is what TV commercials for Ugatoxicol caps always advise.  Typical TV BS.  You can't talk to your doctor, you'll talk to his nurse, or robo.

• I know where you're coming from...and where you'll wind up, at this rate.

• Word of the day: Suppository: a supposition that you can take and shove up you know where.

• "No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar," "but what does it matter?"  Lincoln, 1859; Hillary, 2013.

• No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar," but the media's memory loss ensures success anyway.

• The big push nowadays is to make grass roots as sustainable as weed, that is to say, the pot crop.

• Christ warned that at the time of the end there would be wars and rumors of wars.  Wars I can keep a stiff upper lip to.  It's the rumors of wars that have me terrified.  The War on Poverty turned out to be a phony war.  But this War on Women?  It's just a rumor but hardly phony.

• The president has declared that his scandals are phony and are to be ignored, but the GOP's War on Women has crossed the red line.

• It looked like the Constitution was dead, the way it's being kicked around you'd think it was a corpse of a deposed king.  But no, it's "living"!  What a relief!   Bzzzz! How annoying, buzzing around like a darn fly!  Swat it like a live fly.  SWAT!

• What are SWAT teams for but to take out living annoyances SWAT! "We have met the enemy and it is us" -- our constitution, apparently.

• So what do you do all day?  Oh, not much, no game-changing seachange – just lower the boom and raise the bar, ante, and devil outside the box on the table, but not to rise to the level of a level playing field.  And sometimes I roll-out a paradigm or kick off the can down the road and kick ass into the arena or under the table, with dignity, compassion, and gravitas, and at the end of the day look to push back the envelope on the war on women, and go missing.  How about you?

• Within an hour, without zapping the channel, O’Reilley and Krauthammer can be heard bemoaning that America, once the light and leader of the world, founded on the principles of individualism and democracy by enlightened founding fathers, thus liberating humanity from state oppression for the first time in human history, is in free fall, going defunct and extinct, by design or ineptitude.  Sob a requiem, sound taps.  Across the roundtable Jaun Williams and Bob Beckel are gleefully declaring O’Reilly and Krauthammer just soreheads, willfully or ignorantly blind to the Revolution and Great Social Realignment of the old patristic racist America, heretofore a groaning embarrassment to us and the bane and blight of the world, while the new liberated America is heeding and snuggling into the new world order and global community of compassion and statist socialist principles and executive orders, by design and genius.  Rock for joy! Like this page!

 

 

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Wesley Kime